Colton's Blog

For this blog post I worked on my final script. For my script I wrote about a man who is reasonably wealthy, who gets robbed of everything he owns and what he does after this event. To help me create my story I used a story board website that helped me visualize exactly how I wanted my story to turn out. This story board site really helped me by making my ideas show up just how I wanted them.

Below I have added a copy of my story.

Int. Bedroom. Morning.

A man wakes up with a big yawn (stretching)realizing everything in his room has been stolen.

 

Int. Main room of the house. Morning.

 

The man circles his living room looking in horror to see everything gone.

THE MAN

 

Where is all my stuff?

 

Int. Next room.

 

The man rushes over to his mounted safe where he keeps his life savings. When he enters the room terror washes over his face as he sees the safe wide open with no money in it.

 

THE MAN

 

How can this be happening to me?

 

2 weeks pass

 

Ext. outside of house porch. Midday.

 

As the man walks up the steps to his house he notices a sign hung on his door written in bold red letters EVICTION NOTICE! The man drops to his knees in anger.

 

Int. two days later. Old rundown apartment.

 

The man opens the door to his new apartment and first smells mold and rot. He slams his bags down on the bed and thinks of ways to make back everything he has lost.

 

Int. grocery store. Afternoon.

 

The man walks into the store with a ski mask over his face.

 

THE MAN

Everyone hands up this is a robbery.

 

The man walks towards the cashier.

 

THE MAN

Give me all the money.

 

CASHIER

Just take it and leave!

 

As the man reaches in the register he hears the wailing of a siren. He finishes loading his bag with money when six policemen barge into the store.

 

Int. Jail cell.

 

Man is thrown in the jail cell wearing the bright orange prison clothing.

 

THE MAN

How did I end up here?

 

THE END

 

For this blog post I will be posting my script story board and be explaining how I came up with my ideas for the script. My script takes place with a reasonably wealthy man who has been robbed of everything he owns. After he is robbed his house goes for closure and he leaves his good normal life, for a life of crime.

For this blog post I will be explaining my short story.

Some feedback I got from my story was to add more description of what my aliens look like, to add a little more suspense. another piece of feedback I got was to maybe stretch out the baseball scene a little longer. I added these suggestions to my story and I have also attached my story to this blog post.

 

Crash Landing

The grass shone in the morning sunlight. The smell of hot dogs and popcorn wafted through the air. The sound of bats cracking and helpful cheers erupt from the brightly lit stadium. Gabe struts out of the dugout, taking in the energy of the crowd. As he steps into the batter’s box a streak of bright light flashes in the sky a mixture of pink and orange illuminating the space above him. STRIKE ONE! The umpire roars. Gabe breaks from his thoughts realizing the first pitch had been thrown. Gabe hears the crowd erupt in applause at the pitch. He steps back in the batter’s box and focuses on the pitcher. He gazes down at the pitcher investigating him. STRIKE TWO! Screams the umpire. Again Gabe is broken from his thoughts. He sharpens his focus staring menacingly into the pitcher’s eyes. The pitch seems to be moving in slow motion as Gabe swings with all his might, he smashes the ball high in the air, at the apex of the ball’s motion it slams into an unscene object with a metallic whack, the ball plummets back to Earth. Gabe stares at where the ball hit the object in the sky determining what had happened when a sleek silver ship appears in the sky like it had been uncovered from a blanket. It starts racing towards the ground out of control, the field in its path of destruction. A swarm of dust fills Gabe’s vision with the sound of a loud crash. A hush falls over the crowd and players. As the dust settles, a silhouette of what seems like a large ship creaks and moans from the crash to Earth. An ear shattering screech emerges from the ship as a ramp slowly lowers to the ground. From the thick mist steps out an oddly shaped creature. As it emerges from the dust Gabe sees the massive tall and slender creature with silvery almost liquid skin, it seemed to be staring out to the massive stadium with its four oval eyes. It’s head unproportionally bigger than its thin tall body. The stadium erupts in chaos fans running to find the exit just to be trampled over. Everyone freezes as a gruff voice comes over the stadiums intercom,

“Ladies and Gentlemen”. it says

“We have been scouting out your planet for many months now in look of your precious resource of rhodium.”

Gabe looks at the creature who seems to be the one talking. Remembering what he had learned in his high school chemistry class, rhodium was a precious metal used for improving the corrosion resistance of other metals.

The hoarse voice tears Gabe from his thoughts.

“ We will take this by force if necessary.” the creature says

Just as the last words fall out off its mouth the exits to the stadium slam shut. A wave of terror courses over the stadium. .

 

For this blog post I will be explaining how I wrote my short story. I first did my story arc and other plot diagrams. I then did character analysis, to help me develop my characters. Below I have put one of my packets that helped me through my writing process.

For this blog post I am going to be writing about three vines that will help inspire my writing and hopefully push my thinking farther.

 

warm up number 1

The dense mist covered the Earth like a blanket. my vision was crowed by it, I can only see a few feet ahead. I see a silhouette in the distance I shout to it hoping for a response back. My face is moist from the think mist and I wipe it off with my sleeve. When I look up the figure had vanished into the mist. I shout to the distance with no response. I feel a soft tap on my shoulder and turn to it, it’s the silhouette.

Number 2

Ten things I am thankful for are: my family because they are always there for me when I need them. another thing I am thankful for are my friends because they always pick me up when I am down and always know how to make me laugh. Also the sun because I don’t like cold weather, I only like the warm sunny days. Another is my education because it has really taught me everything I know from math to science. I am also great full for my religion for also helping me through hard times.

Number 3

The green and blue flashes before my eyes. Almost swaying in the harsh cold wind. My teeth chatter as I clench the camera close to my body, trying to soak up every piece of warmth I can find. there it is again the beautiful lime green and light blue flash through the sky like a skillful painters brushstroke. I gaze down at the camera looking over the picture I had just taken. perfectly pictured the green lights swimming in the sky. When I make it back to civilization a few weeks later after my trek in the antarctic wilderness, I open my mail box and pull out the stack of papers and magazines. I stare down at the stack and see the first one it is the National Geographic magazine, on the front cover is my picture.

For this blog post I will be posting my story arc and plot diagram. My last short story I completed the whole thing so for this project I will be writing a new one.

Below is my Plot Diagram

 

this is my Story Arc

This week I made a scene about when I got my appendix out.  Some of the comments I got on it was that I wrote in good detail. But the one thing I had to revise about my story is having more detail in what the surgery was and why it took place.

Below is the scene I wrote about:

 

All I remember was the endless wait in the waiting room, while my lower stomach felt like I had swallowed a box of nails. Then the rush to get me into the operating prep room. I remember the doctor muttering to my dad that I had appendicitis, I tuned out most of the conversation but I did hear the doctor say

“The appendix is a useless organ that is attached right under the large intestine. His has become infected and can burst soon so we need to get it out before it does. but if it had burst it would have spread hazardous waste throughout his body that would make him very ill” the doctor said.

The next thing I knew i’m being whisked to a room with bright lights, when a nurse tells me they are going to put me under. I immediately tense up.

“It’s ok” she says “It’s just like taking a little nap”

“Um okay” I stutter out the words.

I relax and start to feel the anaesthetics kick in. I can still remember the vivid dream I had while I was on the operating table. The dream starts with me in the middle of a football huddle, I hear the roaring of  a huge stadium with copious amounts of fans all screaming my name. We break the huddle and rush to the line of scrimmage I go to the wide receiver position on the far right of the field and wait for the quarter back to give the cadence.

“Down, ready, set, hike, hike” he yells

I sprint of the line and become open I can feel the energy of the crowd coursing through the stadium. Then I go into slow motion as I see the ball twirl in the air coming right towards me. As I catch the ball  light floods into my vision, I can make out a figure in the distance. Then I hear a voice calling my name.

“Colton, can you hear me?” says a faint whisper

“Yes,where am I?” I stammer

“You are in the recovery room sweetie” the voice says sweetly

I remember looking out at a dull colored room with about a dozen beds some occupied by other people some not as i’m looking around the room I gaze down at my wrist and see a needle sticking out with a clear tube coming out of the end not in my arm. I flinch at the sight of it and feel I sharp throbbing pain coming from my stomach all the way through my body.

“Just relax, you’re gonna be in pain from the surgery so just relax until we can check you into a room.”

“Um okay.” I say back

Then the next thing I knew a man was pushing down a long bright hallway full of rushing nurses and doctors. I’m rolled into a room where my dad is sitting on a chair waiting.

“How did it go” my dad asks

“Just fine, the surgery went great.” the man who rolled me in says

“He’ll just need some bed rest but after about a week he should be fine and back to normal.” the man continued.

I will always remember this event because of the two inch scar I have on my stomach.

 

For my third blog post I will be talking about how we skyped  the first graders to get the dialogue for our scripts.

 

Writing the script

Writing the script was somewhat challenging for my group. Some of the challenges we faced was coming up with new ideas that both made sense and would be funny. To write the script we mostly imagined how the scene would take place by thinking about what the first graders would most likely say in the situation of the princesses. Some other problems was trying to include everyone in the writing process, because some people did most of the work with out even realizing it, while others did barely any thing.

Working with the 1st graders

Working with the first graders was fun because i got to see how the 1st graders think and how they would initially think about the situation. It was also funny to see what they said when we had the scene where the princesses were fighting and how most of them could relate to when they maybe fought with one of their siblings. Overall working with the 1st graders was fun and exciting.

 Here is a link for the script of our princess story: Copyofprincessstory

For my second blog post, we were given an assignment.  We came up with ideas where an adult voice would be switched with a elementary  kids voice.

   My Teams Ideas 

Some ideas I came up with are, Two men with kids voices  sitting at a dinner table and there is only one slice of pizza left. I believed this would be funny because it could show how the two men try to convince each other why they should have the last slice.Some other ideas my group came up with and what the whole class choose was about two women who live in a palace and are fighting over who should become the next princess this could be funny because it would have little kids voices coming from two adult women and it would be really funny. The last one my group came up with, was an idea where a high school aged girl turns in uncompleted homework to her mean and strict teacher, and the consequences the girl has to face after she talks to her teacher

I came up with my ideas by picturing little kids trying to get out of the situation, for example what they would do to get that last slice of pizza and what they would say to get it.

Are class agreed on the princess idea. I think they choose this idea because it will be funny to see two adult women fighting like little kids.

This is my first creative writing post. In this post I am writing about a new sport I have created with a few mystery items.

For the sport I decided to create you will need a roll of duct tape, tennis rackets, wiffle ball, and the stack of cups.        The objective of the game is to hit the wiffle ball with the tennis racket and try to knock over the stack of cups. This is a two player game where the first player to knock over the cups wins. You set the game up by using the duct tape to secure the bottom cup to the ground and stack the rest of the cups on top. Then you measure out 10 feet from the stack of cups and put a line of duct tape to show where to start. the each player takes turns hitting the wiffle ball at the cups until one of the players knocks down the cups. If you intentionally disrupt the other player you lose your turn and the other player goes again.